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i’m done being right for someone

I’m done being right for someone. 

Say it out loud.  Why not?  Feels good too say it, doesn’t it?  Every day, someone, somewhere tells me to be prettier for someone—to be sexier, to be calmer.  Overtly, indirectly, unknowingly.  No, not my friends.  Fortunately.  I’m not interested in keeping that kind of company.  But Facebook ads, some woman trying to pay me a compliment but only succeeding in the underhanded kind, etc.  She only wants me to be…better.  But I don’t know what she means by it.  

Who exactly am I raising myself above?  The girls that don’t use face cream? (I used face cream just the other..well, I have some in my medicine cabinet, anyway.)  I’m in the car, listening to the stupid song “…I can treat you better…”, and a childish voice of reason pipes up, “Better than what?” 

Nearly every day I hear someone say, Am I ever going to be good enough? 

They wonder, Am I the right one…for anyone?  Am I good enough for someone to want me?  …why are we teaching ourselves to ask this question on a near daily basis?  What is the point?

I’m not angry the question exists.  I simply find it useless.  You know what it reminds me of?  The people with the incessant need to be better than you?  They remind me of the guy who cuts you off on the freeway, because he just has to be ahead of you. 

Because what does he (or they) gain by it?  Nobody “wins” the freeway race.  So why be the idiot that gets pulled over by the cops for speeding?  Haha, sucker, now I win.  I guess.  Damn, there’s still cars ahead of me.  

The next time you ask yourself, Am I _____ enough? (Strong, good, pretty, calm, capable, take your pick.)  Stop.  Let the question go, and consider this instead.

Perhaps, instead, you could be better than you were yesterday. 

Or even, just as good.  Just don’t go backwards.  Being “better” makes you happier, and that’s what matters.  Speaking another language more fluently.  Helping your niece learn not to bully others to get their attention.  Your happiness matters. 

Yes, I’m glad to be where I am.  But mostly I’m glad to be moving forward.  It’s good enough for me. I’m done being right for someone.  I can’t say I’m always good enough for me, but at least the person I’m trying to impress is myself and not society.  I feel pretty good about that.  I’ll work on the next step soon enough.

If you can say that about yourself, anyway, I think you’re doing pretty well. Not that you need that from me, of course, but you’ve got it if you ever need a confidence boost!

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